"Burn Down de Wal-Mart" on Soundclick!

A delightful (no-frills) version of this song (lyrics immediately below) is currently WAY up in the Soundclick comedy charts. High or Low Bitrate, or MP3 download available. Check 'er out!

"Burn Down de Wal-Mart"

Burn down de Wal-Mart,
Burn down de Wal-Mart;
Why they be buildin’ another store
That’s just a great big eyesore?

They have begun a construction boom,
Pretty soon they run out of room;
Then Wal-Mart be takin’ all our property
Just to boost up de economy.

Burn down de Wal-Mart,
Burn down de Wal-Mart;
Wal-Mart bulldoze me house ‘cause they need me lot,
It’s all a great big Wal-Mart plot.

Wal-Mart used to like to say,
“Buy stuff made in de U. S. of A.”
But stuff is so cheap from de Red Chinese
Wal-Mart shuttin’ U. S. factories.

Burn down de Wal-Mart,
Burn down de Wal-Mart;
Downsized people got to be good sports,
Shut up and buy all de nice imports.

Wal-Mart love its associates
And maybe someday give them health benefits;
Wal-Mart insure each life of its “Family”
And make Wal-Mart beneficiary.

Burn down de Wal-Mart,
Burn down de Wal-Mart;
Don’t fall asleep on your shift, by heck–
Wal-Mart bury you just to get check.

Wal-Mart sellin’ stuff nearly free
To try and build up its monopoly;
They put their rivals out of business
Then they raise their prices, I guess;

Burn down de Wal-Mart,
Burn down de Wal-Mart;
Wal-Mart be serving us very fine–
In a cheese sauce with some wine.

Burn down de Wal-Mart,
Burn down de Wal-Mart;
From sea to sea, soon this great big land
Will be under de Wal-Mart brand.

Burn it down!

It's not a guitar--it's a NUKELELE! 

Re-indicted--and it feels so GOOD! 

Boy, is MY neck red! 

Announcing "Radiola"--a new program of old music

Not being one to count my chickens, I waited until I actually SAW the summer schedule. Now it can be told: starting Friday, June 10 I will be hosting "Radiola," a weekly program of 20s and 30s jazz and pop on WHCL http://www.whcl.org from 9 to 11 PM EDT. The frequency is 88.7, but since the station has an effective radius of 30 miles (on a good day with a prevailing wind) from Hamilton College in Clinton, NY, I assume anyone reading this would opt for the webcast.

The program will be drawn from my sprawling and unwieldy collection of CDs, LPs, and 78s. What I will play from week to week is anybody's guess. I'll try to keep it light and fun. Nor will I shy from a touch of irony when the moment demands it.

"Radiola" will run through the end of July, but if the show is in any way a success (and I don't manage to offend anyone) it might last longer. One never knows, do one?

Lyrics to "Bowling Shirt" (Plugged Version)

This thing is attracting a bit of attention on Soundclick these days. There is a slightly different version on NON-PLUGGED. I've been told that once heard it keeps running through one's mind in combat boots--which is exactly the effect I was striving for.

"I'm Picking My Nose in a Bowling Shirt"

I’m picking my nose in a bowling shirt--
Ooo baby ooo baby ooo baby ooo
It may seem gross but it doesn’t hurt;
Ooo baby ooo baby ooo baby ooo
I’ll steal some wheels for my mean machine
From the cop car on the village green–
We’ll go faster than you’ve ever seen
In a bowling shirt.

I’m picking my nose in a bowling shirt–
Ooo baby ooo baby ooo baby ooo
I’ll have an extra donut for dessert;
Then I’ll snack on pizza and wings
Smoke me five packs of filter kings–
I don’t care what tomorrow brings
In a bowling shirt.

We are right and they are wrong
And we’re on top where we belong;
We are young and we are bold
And we won’t die ‘til we get old;

I’m picking my nose in a bowling shirt–
Ooo baby ooo baby ooo baby ooo
Don’t just think that I’m trying to flirt;
Though the chicks think I’m really neat
My mean machine has a big back seat–
It’s the best place to go into heat
In a bowling shirt.

- - -

(Instrumental)

I’m picking my nose in a bowling shirt--
Ooo baby ooo baby ooo baby ooo
I’ve done it since I was just a squirt;
Ooo baby ooo baby ooo baby ooo
I’d stick my little pinky in
And give my wrist a gentle spin–
The pope says it’s a venial sin
In a bowling shirt.

I am healthy, smart, and strong
And I know I’m never, ever wrong;
I am happy, brave and free–
Can’t wait ‘til I’m through puberty!

I’m picking my nose in a bowling shirt–
Ooo baby ooo baby ooo baby ooo
It’s a joy I won’t avert;
Ooo baby ooo baby ooo baby ooo
It gives my day that certain lift
When I start the evening shift
To reach up for that special gift
In a bowling shirt.

Poster for a show I did with Tope Damiano in 1996